I am the mother of a bright and funny 7-year-old boy who is highly distractible, often impulsive, and sometimes socially awkward. I feel blessed (most days) that God has entrusted me to raise and nurture this budding little genius. But lately I’ve been so swamped with work that I haven’t had much time to take a breather and fully enjoy my son. However, during the winter break I was able to slow down and be more present and engaged with him.
Watching my son fill his mornings with self-paced learning activities, I am totally in awe of his creativity, ingenuity, and brilliance. Here’s what I witnessed that might be helpful to you if you’re raising a child who is very distractible.
1) He built a Fire Temple and a Lego Dragon consisting of more than 500 small pieces. He spent the whole day yesterday and didn’t take a break except to go to the bathroom and eat. And I had to fight to get him to take a break to eat. He worked from 10 am to 7 pm (and this is a child who, according to the school system, cannot concentrate).
2.) Today the plan was to go to the park to try out his new scooter. Instead, she wanted to stay and create her own board game out of construction paper, pencils, tape, pipe cleaners, and toothpicks. He also made dice for the game, moving pieces, and wrote simple instructions. For now he has called his game The King’s Castle. The objective of the game is to roll the dice and move your pieces until you reach the castle. His game involves: simple math skills, basic literacy (reading and writing instructions), focus and concentration (and this from a child whose former teacher concluded that my son could not read or write at his grade level).
So, parents of children with special needs, I implore you to look beyond the label and realize that all children have the ability to learn. I am in no way saying that you should deny your child’s special needs. What I’m saying is put as much energy into nurturing your strengths as you do into addressing your child’s challenges. Because sometimes it’s just a matter of discovering how your child learns best to boost her academic progress.
So here are the top 3 lies that parents of children with special needs mistakenly believe.
Lie #1.) Your child cannot be taught
This is a lie from the pit of hell. I am using such a graphic description to make you realize how emotionally, mentally, and spiritually dangerous this lie can be to your child’s academic growth and social well-being. Of course, your child can be taught, but you need to unlock the key to how your child not only learns but moves through the world. Is it primarily visual? Especially auditory? Or mainly kinesthetic? Always remember that there was a time in our history when people believed that Helen Keller was not accessible or teachable…and she proved the world wrong. Be sure to take the time to unlock the key to how your child learns and moves through the world.
Lie #2) Your child does not have the ability to concentrate
This is another lie that is believed by parents of children with special needs, especially parents of children with ADHD and Asperger syndrome. My son is always on the go and very easily distracted. It’s like having three children in one. In the past, he used to make me very angry because he wanted me to stay still, to stop moving, to stop rocking back and forth and to sit on his butt without interruption. Actually, my expectations for him were not in line with his natural makeup. And honestly, my constant criticism about things he couldn’t control without tools and help did nothing to build his academic confidence and self-esteem. Watching my son spend all day putting together his Lego Fire Temple and Dragon, as well as creating his board game, he reminded me that he has the ability to focus when he is involved in something he likes and when he has tools. to help him. His son has the ability to focus, find out what he really likes, and help him hone that skill so he can start transferring it to his studies.
Lie #3) You can’t take your child anywhere.
One of the things I learned early on about my son is that sometimes large groups and lots of noise have a frenetic effect on him. He seemed to become more hyperactive when he was in the middle of a crowd, so I mistakenly believed that I couldn’t take him anywhere for fear of him misbehaving, embarrassing me, or getting into trouble. In fact, on school trips he was so hyper that his former teacher put a plan in place that said he would not be allowed to go on school trips unless I accompanied him or provided an escort to personally accompany him. . So I spent a lot of time working with the school to keep her from crossing the line and understanding how to follow directions from start to finish. Sometimes things went well. Other times they didn’t. This led me to mistakenly shy away from going out with my son. I have now learned to prepare him for outings by reinforcing the rules, having him draw a picture or write a few sentences about why he thinks it is important to adhere to the rules associated with that outing, let him take something to do or play. with if he corresponds and if necessary I tell the host in advance so that if we have to leave early he knows not to take it personally. Don’t buy into the false belief that he can’t take your special needs child anywhere. Instead, prepare yourself, prepare your child and, if applicable, prepare the host.
In closing, when it comes to your child with special needs, look beyond the label and see the gifts in your child. Your child is teachable. Your child can focus… if only for small moments. And you should bring your son into the world with pride.