It’s amazing, isn’t it? The difference between your boyfriend before the breakup and now since he left you. You thought you knew and loved him but now you really question everything you felt for the man. Ever since the relationship ended, he’s been a world-class jerk to you. He has gone from being a kind and compassionate companion to someone you barely recognize. As much as you struggle to accept the end of your connection with him, you still wonder what’s going on. Why do men act like jerks after a breakup? It’s a question women have been asking for years. The answer can really stun you.
Just as your emotions are off the charts, your ex-boyfriend’s are too. This may be hard to believe given all the rude and nasty things he’s been saying lately. You have to look past those thoughts to the heart of why he is behaving the way he is. Men are not naturally as adept at dealing with difficult emotions as women. Instead of sitting down and talking about something negative they feel, they prefer to lash out. Their anxiety and sense of being emotionally vulnerable causes some men to attack the person who made them feel those difficult emotions. Hence the reason why you have become the verbal target of your ex boyfriend’s anger and disappointment.
If you let him, he may not stop his unattractive behavior for a while. He is working through his emotions and until he does, he will continue to wear the cap of a big asshole. The only thing you can do to remedy it is to separate yourself from it. By creating some distance, you are showing him that you don’t find his behavior towards you acceptable at all and that you value yourself too much to allow it to continue.
It is very important that you do not take their insults or ranting personally. That’s virtually impossible if you still have some lingering feelings for the man, but it’s essential to your own worth not to put too much weight on what he says. Remember that he is desperately trying to hurt you in the same way that he has been hurt, and he will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
It’s the same reason some men hook up with a new woman right after their long-term relationship breaks up. His reasoning behind this is twofold. A man who is grieving after his relationship ends wants to drain those feelings and he can do this by reaching out to someone new. The other reason some men do this is simply to hurt their ex girlfriend. They tell him that they have met a new woman who is everything that his ex-girlfriend is not. They do this solely for the purpose of causing you distress. That’s an obvious idiotic move and if you see it for what it is, you’ll be able to accept it much more easily.
Remember that his behavior is not a reflection of you or the time you spent together. Try to see her disrespectful antics as a sign that she is in deep emotional pain. If you do that, you can still see the good in him and remember the wonderful times you shared before things went wrong.