So you want your ex back. And you’re the only one of you two who wants that right now. Your ex has said it like it is and left little to no doubt about the decision. That does NOT mean that all hope is lost. On the contrary, now is your chance to literally start alchemy in your relationship.
Before you get too excited, this doesn’t mean that you two will hug again tomorrow. Or next week. However, if you play your cards right, you not only have a very good chance of a permanent reunion; It can also make your relationship stronger and more exciting than ever.
Sounds good? So let’s get to work.
The first rule of thumb: moderation.
Feel like texting her? Whose. Facebook? Stay away. The same goes for any other type of communication at this time.
The same thing happens a little later when the two of you are ready to start having conversations again. Many couples have a “second run” after the breakup, but it rarely lasts. Why? Because the person who was originally abandoned is moving too fast.
At the first sign of serious interest, he makes his move. Things seem great again, but in no time, they are abandoned, again. Only this time is forever. C’est fini.
The reason this happens is that once you get back together, the old problems that damaged the relationship in the first place reappear. The only way to remedy this is to take full responsibility for those problems, resolve them, and THEN start taking steps for reunification.
In other words, you have to take small steps so that you can make up.
What is effective in the re-union process are small steps. Drinking coffee could be a small step. But it could also be too big a step. A simple conversation could also do it. In fact, often taking a step or two BACK will create the desired effect much faster.
Example: write a hand written letter to your ex where you agree with the breakup. The handwritten part works much, much better than the typing, because it is unexpected.
The letter itself works so spectacularly because it creates a void on your ex’s side. This little move alone can get your ex to start chasing you, not the other way around. But again, when that happens, it’s critical that you make the right moves from there.