I’m sure you think the cliché that “ love is blind ” is overrated, but neuroscience, this prodigy son of science, reveals with almost cruel satisfaction that some areas of our brains shut down when love us. it ensues, blinding the ration of intelligent decisions we must make.
Brain scans of people who were madly in love are very similar to brain scans of people who used cocaine. There you have it: love is practically a drug unto itself. In a way, we are all drug dealers: the drug of choice is love and other emotional enhancers.
Love could be a wonderful event if we don’t fall in love with the wrong person sometimes. If that person is a narcissist, their burden will reach heights worthy of better causes. Either way, you must learn to deal with this situation.
According to the American Psychological Association, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder display a chronic and pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
Narcissists have a grandiose sense of self-importance, as if they have a special mission on this earth, and they often have a ‘king-style’ personality type, while everyone else must behave as humble servants of their desires.
They always exaggerate their accomplishments and talents doing everything in their power to earn everyone’s attention and recognition. Most of the time they are arrogant and absorbed in fulfilling their special destiny.
The narcissist will indulge in fantasies of tremendous power, success or beauty, being addicted to the attention and admiration that others manifest. You will find a lot of snobbery among them who do not deny it but rather take pride in it.
They see themselves as unique masterpieces – God Himself earned his Ph.D. creating them. Complicated rather than complex personalities will find it difficult to empathize with other people.
In reality, they cannot step outside the perimeter of their own personality, without understanding how people do not think the same as they do. That is why many times you can have the feeling that you are talking to a wall because no matter how deeply you explain your point of view, a narcissist will most likely not understand it. A brick and iron wall.
They can’t have too long relationships, most of the time because the people around them stop explaining themselves over and over again. Narcissists transform their partners into beggars – you will beg for understanding and some unconditional attention and most of the time you will celebrate only the leftovers from the party that the narcissist indulged.
You will find many successful individuals with this syndrome, because narcissism will drive them to achieve success and accumulate power to fuel their self-admiration. Many achievers have a healthy dose of narcissism, or self-confidence, but healthy narcissism or selfishness won’t ask the world to reflect their inflated self-image and ego.
A relationship with a narcissistic personality will require a lot of energy and work, because they are in constant need of external support and approval. Once these needs are met, they feel powerful, but many times it will be very difficult to meet this need. They feel vulnerable and alone; this is how they will explain their “cheat” behavior.
The genesis of this personality disorder dates back to childhood. Most of the time they will be single children in a family, but even then they have been ignored or the parents had high expectations of perfection from the child.
The child will fiercely embark on this quest to gain the appreciation of his parents, leaving him with the inability to understand the needs of other people, as his needs were not understood as a child.
How to detect a narcissist?
1. Be aware of people who advertise too much. They will always want to be in the spotlight. Seeking constant approval and admiration, they will take “the stage” and monopolize discussion and action. They prefer to be the star in everyone’s movie.
2. Lack of empathy towards the needs of other people. They cannot pay attention to other people because they need that attention constantly. They are all slaves and are opposed to complying with their demands. Narcissists want all the love, all the attention, all the possessions for themselves; They will be jealous of other people’s accomplishments and it will be difficult for them to acknowledge their success.
3. They cannot accept criticism, appeal to their childhood memories and they will reject it with all their might. If you do the leze-majesty to criticize them, in addition to the fact that they will deny it, they will feel hurt and unloved. They will never accept responsibility for any wrongdoing and will be on a constant search to find people to blame for their mistakes.
4. Many will be addicted to work – driven by the enormous desire for achievement, they will put all their efforts into achieving massive success.
It takes time to identify all of these character goodies, as many are under the guise of beautiful and highly successful people who will always be fascinating and engaging. They can be interesting personalities but very difficult to handle, almost impossible.
The bad news is that they cannot be changed. Read again: the narcissist cannot be changed! Because they reject any form of criticism, even constructive criticism, they cannot understand any crime and indulge in their self-proclaimed image of perfection. Many of them will have secret thoughts of being divine and will literally be blind to any mistakes they make.
Giving in to all their demands is not recommended, it will only reinforce their great needs and they will have the feeling that it is normal for all their wishes to be fulfilled without giving them much in return.
How to deal with narcissistic partners?
Since they cannot be changed, you must reassess your needs and long-term goals for a relationship; It may be interesting for a while to be around these types of people, but in the long run it becomes exhausting and anger and resentment will overshadow any feelings. of love and tenderness.
1. Don’t give in to their incessant demands, keep your independence from these types of people – if you depend on them in any way, they will blackmail you into giving in to their wishes.
2. Do not let yourself be enraged by their lack of empathy or understanding, they are not capable of doing it. Showing them your disability won’t do any good – they’ll blame you for anything that doesn’t work.
3. Finally, decide when enough is enough. A relationship with a narcissist can take you to places where you don’t want to be, it can cause you to behave in ways that you don’t recognize yourself. It can undermine your self-esteem and rob you of the attention you need to give yourself trying to meet all of your needs.
Many artistic personalities will be narcissistic and self-centered, self-centered. The fascination for them will make many of you fall in love with them, as your love will be like your personality: irrational, instinctive, possessive and overwhelming. Which will sometimes unlock that crazy, passionate behavior inside of you, fun for a while, but will wear you down and leave you with nothing in the end.
Narcissists will be attached to those who meet their needs, but they will never treat them as partners but as followers. They have the need to constantly lead and be in control; They do not need equals, but disciples or complacent ones. The worst that can happen is when a narcissist meets someone with low self-esteem – he or she will be the perfect victim and toy for them.
Stand up for yourself, don’t give up on your needs and don’t believe all their explanations – their constant need for admiration and approval will make them flirt with many of the opposite sex and they won’t rarely even cheat to reaffirm their power of seduction.
Although they have a certain charisma and aura, probably the outrageous feeling of self-confidence will be their most magnetic gift, they come with a lot of work. Enjoy while you feel that what holds you together is more than what separates you, but know when to leave, as there is no treatment available at the moment other than brain surgery. I guess not, since they are considered so perfect.
Let them create if they are artists or achieve the success they want, while you move on and meet your emotional and human needs. Love stories can be beautiful without drama and without self-proclaimed kings and gods around you.