Emotional cheating is much more than a clever new buzzword used in divorce courts across the country. It is fast becoming an epidemic affecting around 20% of all marriages. Many of those marriages end in divorce because people simply cannot cope with the emotional distance that this form of cheating creates. These are just a few of the reasons why emotional cheating is so devastating to marriages.
- It goes deep to the heart of things. In many ways, emotional cheating is more devastating than physical cheating. The only comfort and consolation that people feel for physical matters is that the heart still belongs to the husband or wife at home. That is not always the case with emotional matters. Physical issues are often about sex or about a need that the other person meets. Emotional affairs are when one spouse emotionally withdraws from the marriage and begins to make a significant, if not complete, emotional investment in the other person.
- You feel hopeless. Hope is the only thing that can keep a marriage going during and after a physical affair. People feel that they can compete if it is purely physical. They lose hope of being able to compete when they know the other person is getting away from them and they feel powerless to stop it from happening. Hope is a powerful thing and once it is lost, more often than not, so is marriage.
- It’s so intense. Emotional infidelity is not about the flames of passion that go out once they are spent. These are intense emotions that build and grow over time. The same emotions that are drawn from marriage. The stronger these new emotions become, the more the ‘cheating’ spouse withdraws from the marriage and gives it to the other person. The relationship doesn’t have to burn out to be unfaithful. The intensity of it all is consuming enough without sex being a factor, yet.
- Sex is not the most devastating factor in infidelity. Sex is rarely the trick when it comes to cheating. It is rarely the only thing that pushes the marriage over the top. For most couples, it’s not about having sex with someone else. It’s about the lies that are told to make this happen. It’s about the secrets. Broken trust. Cheating isn’t just about sex and sex isn’t when you cheat. Emotional affairs are so devastating because they are so powerful and consume the people who carry them out. The sex may not have happened, but for all intents and purposes, it’s often just a logistical technicality.