Oh My wife left me and took the kids, I have no idea where they are!
If this happens, you can go to court and file a request called Disclosure of Child’s Whereabouts. In this application, you will ask a designated agency to provide an address for the child or the child’s spouse. For example, HMRC or the Benefits Agency is likely to have up-to-date contact information for anyone claiming a benefit, working or self-employed. So you could start there.
Oh My husband just called to say he is leaving with the kids!
This is a very scary situation because once your children have left the UK it is virtually impossible to enforce a UK court order. You have to take urgent measures. An application can be filed with the court for a no trespassing order. You will then need to send copies of this Order to all ports outside the country (airports, seaports, etc.). If her husband has already left, she will have to take action within the country in which she is now. In either case, she should seek specialist advice to avoid delays in taking life-changing steps.
Oh My son has been staying with me and now he says he doesn’t want to go back to his mother’s. Do I have to force it?
This is a difficult question and depends on the particular circumstances. I would say that both parents should cooperate in this type of situation. Children often don’t care if they live with mom or dad, so once they feel settled somewhere, they may feel too relaxed to move again. Understand why the child does not want to go home. Do you just want to enjoy one more night at your house? Or is he afraid to go home? Different problems require different solutions. If the child just wants to spend one more night at your house, ask mom if she’s okay. But if the child is afraid to go home, then she will have to assess whether there is a real danger or it is just a matter of her not liking the discipline method at home. If there is a real risk of harm, you should discuss it with the other parent. If an agreement cannot be reached, you must refer the matter to court urgently or the other parent may do so without your knowledge and without giving the court the full picture.
Oh My girlfriend has told the principal not to let me near my son at school. What can I do about it?
Once a relationship breaks down, it is common for one side to set about building a band of followers. This may include support from the school principal. It is best to take quick action to prevent this from becoming a major obstacle to your ability to contribute to your child’s school life. But at the same time I would suggest a gentle action. Therefore, you need to understand exactly what your rights are and, if legal proceedings have been started, what orders have been made. Parents often do not realize that they have a parental responsibility and therefore have a perfect right to participate in their children’s education. Furthermore, although court proceedings have started and are quite advanced, no court orders have actually been issued in favor of either the father or the mother. So make sure you know what you need to know to be able to legally assert your rights at every step.
Oh My wife and I just separated and she won’t let me see the kids. What I can do?
It is not surprising that when a couple has separated, feelings are boiling over and bitterness has set in. Usually, the husband moves out of the house, leaving the mother alone with the children. No clear plans have been put in place regarding the children and the mother is left to carry on. She would say that this is a crucial time to maintain the status quo when it comes to children. If you usually do the school career, or part of it, continue doing it; If you often help out with after-school activities, whether it’s taking care of the other kids at home or driving around, then she finds a way to continue helping with this. Also remember how expensive raising children can be. So try not to cut any financial contributions you were making when you lived together. Obviously you’ll have your own separate expenses now, but try to remember all the little things that add up. It’s the extra things like paying for school days, endless days without uniforms, unexpectedly having to replace lost clothes and even shoes! So try not to stop helping with all of this without discussing it first. This is not a legal matter, it is just advice to lay the foundation for building your future “two family” lifestyle.
Therefore, it will take this time immediately after the separation to establish that you will raise the children together. During this period, you should also discuss long-term arrangements for seeing the children.
If an agreement cannot be reached, you may need to bring in a third party to help you with the discussions. You may find it impossible to find someone who is objective enough or has the skills to help you solve the problems between you. You can seek professional help from a relationship counselor or mediator. Hopefully, you should be able to come to an understanding that you both can live with and that accommodates the needs of your children. However, you can only ask the other parent to attend Mediation, but you are not required to do so.
If you have worked your way through the above process but have not yet been able to see your children, then as a last resort you should take the matter to court. You will ask the court to make an order so you can see your children. This Order will establish the minimum amount of time you must spend with your children. Going to court may be your only option, but it is not one that should be taken for granted. Child court disputes are extremely stressful, very expensive, and can create lifelong bitterness between parents and even broader family members.
If you decide to go this route, you should get your petition to court quickly to avoid delays. If you take too long to see your children, the court may be persuaded to conclude that the children no longer remember you. If contact is arranged or ordered in such circumstances, it is likely that it will be established at a Contact Center. Contact Centers are public places designed to help separated parents restore their relationship with their children. Parents report that it feels like an artificial environment and it is a difficult way to interact with children of any age in such an environment.
So from the beginning, if you are representing yourself, you will need to have a working knowledge of the court system and have a good case plan in place so that you can move forward with your case.