Long distance relationships are terrible. I know because I am currently living one. You see other couples walking down the street holding hands, kissing, etc., every day and you can’t help but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you still love someone if you can’t even see them?
The answer is… it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any obstacle that stands in its way if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I don’t think anyone knows exactly how to get it working, but I can certainly provide some points to get it working.
1. COMMUNICATION is the key.
In every relationship, whether close or distant, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to shudder until it eventually dies a natural death. That is why in any circumstance communication should be given the utmost importance. There are so many means available to ensure communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These mediums can be effective means of conveying your heart’s desires to your loved ones. Let them know what you’ve been doing and thinking because that way they’ll feel like they’re right there with you. This will also help you feel close even if you are miles away.
2. Send CARE PACKAGES.
It can be anything: a small gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you artistically designed in a scrapbook; or your partner’s favorite jewelry, it’s really only limited by your imagination. Compromising in this way is beneficial to both of you. You have the opportunity to focus on gathering these elements and putting them together, thus preventing your mind from being together to some extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it’s just a card, it shows that they are important enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes a lot of money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!
3. Stay BUSY.
You couldn’t just sit there and wait until he came back to you. What if he doesn’t come back at all and all you did was sit around and put your slack belly in, that won’t make you miserable? Not only will you stunt your growth as an individual in the process, but you’ll also develop emotional insecurities. To avoid that, you should focus on other things while you wait. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books that can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to rest in front of your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things on the internet. It’s an endless list of “ways to keep busy” and it’s up to you to decide which one you want to get involved with. But remember, being “busy” is not an excuse to forget your “special days” and worse, your loved one. You do it not only to occupy yourself, but also to allow yourself to grow even in the absence of your lover.
4. HONESTY is the best policy.
The path to true intimacy and connection, especially in a long-distance relationship, is through “complete honesty” with each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your loved one the whole truth about your thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, problems, limits, etc., you are gradually building a zone of trust and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Trying to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself may work for a while, but it won’t be long until the suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, “acting out,” etc. . I know that sometimes telling the whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship you really want: a relationship where all the cards are on the table.
5. The value of TRUST
Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That’s because having confidence in a relationship removes doubt. When you trust someone, you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is strong. You must learn to be faithful to the relationship and you must never give in to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick urges because these will only make your relationship fall apart. Don’t dismiss negative comments or advice. Just trust yourself and your partner. If you two are faithful to each other and have no ulterior motives, then you will be fine. Remember “Love never fails”.
6. COMMITMENT is a habit, not an achievement
In any relationship it is essential to be able to learn to compromise and compromise. For most long distance relationships, the reason they fail is because both parties were unable to follow through on the commitment and feel too weak to endure the tribulations of time. they have a good promise ahead of them, their commitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning, thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.
7. PATIENCE is a virtue.
Being in a long-distance relationship requires being firm and persevering. If you are not this type of person and you are involved in a long distance relationship, as much as you are now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give up hope. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to patiently work through it will let them know that you really love them.
8. WEBCAM
This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home. Having a webcam is really a lot of fun and exciting. Even if they are not together, looking at each other’s faces on the big screen makes them feel that they are so close, so close to their loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with emoticons and it melts my heart to see him smile on camera when he receives my messages.
9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.
Not every day comes a special day, so when it does, it should be celebrated no matter how far apart they are. When I talk about special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Years and Valentine’s Day. During these times, you can plan an intense phone call or extended time online for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a few times a week, make sure you both make time for that particular night. If you’re too stingy to settle for a long phone call, but have cheap, unlimited online access, plan to instant message each other or meet up in a private chat room somewhere. If they can’t be together, they can at least be “talking” and “spending some private time together.”
10. ENJOY LIFE!
Just because your loved one is away, doesn’t mean his “life” is with him as he heads toward greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it according to the purpose for which you were created, with or without your loved one. What are these social beings that surround us created for?
Remember, there are definitely difficulties associated with this style of relationship, but it is important for those who thrive in a long distance relationship to see suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools to cultivate their love and develop maturity in their relationship. . The best thing you can do is strive to be the best you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you will already be an adult who he will love even more and be more. proud more than ever! For now, be happy to know that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, that he is willing to get involved in something terrible like a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever as your loved one will return soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was then.
© 2005 Rachelle Arlin Creed. All rights reserved.