Is there anything more mortifying than making a fool of yourself in front of the ex-boyfriend you still love? If you have, you’ll probably say it’s the worst thing that can happen to a woman. It’s not, not in the big picture of life, but it’s horrible in the moment and in the days and weeks that follow. You naturally start to think that he will never forget what you have done or that he will run for the hills as fast as he can never speak to you again. He’s probably not that bad at all. Depending on what you have done to humiliate yourself in front of your ex boyfriend, there is always a way to redeem yourself. It just takes time, insight and the right approach.
In most cases, when a woman feels that she has humiliated herself in front of her ex, it is because she has proclaimed her eternal love for him and he responds by saying that he is not interested. Another common scenario is that of the woman who, in a desperate frenzy to win back her ex-boyfriend’s attention, she calls him repeatedly or sends him hundreds of text messages. If she has done any of these things, she can take comfort in knowing that she is not alone. Many women before you have done exactly the same as many women who will follow you. Emotions can make us do things we know aren’t smart, but our hearts take the lead and before we know it, we’ve embarrassed ourselves and deeply regretted it.
Own your behavior and accept the emotional consequences
As much as you’d like to undo the act that led to your humiliation, you can’t. No amount of wishing, hoping, or scheming will allow you to take back what you did. You have done it and now the best move you can make is to own it. You have to accept that it happened and that it may have temporarily changed the way your ex boyfriend sees you. Keep in mind that emotions can be very fluid and while your ex may see you as someone you don’t want to be with right now, that can change in an instant if she takes the right approach starting today.
You should see this whole experience as a lesson learned. You realize how you feel now and that’s important. It is the reminder of that feeling that will prevent you from making the same mistake with your ex boyfriend in the future. He’s not perfect either, so don’t let your embarrassment over humiliating yourself cloud that fact.
You can’t take back what happened, so it’s better to let it go and move forward. Insisting on what you did will only highlight that and make it impossible for you to interact with your ex boyfriend in a positive way. Realize that you have made a crucial mistake, let it go and look to the future.
Rise above what you’ve done and show him you’ve changed
Obviously, there is a benefit to apologizing to your ex boyfriend for his unsatisfactory behavior. He shows that you are mature enough to recognize your flaws. It also casts a very unpleasant light on an incident that he would rather soon forget.
You must weigh the benefit of offering amends against trying to put the episode behind you. If she hasn’t talked to her ex-boyfriend about what happened, consider not bringing it up in the future. He may be just as eager as you are to leave it all in the past.
If he has continually pointed out what you did to humiliate yourself, an apology is in order. Do it in a very direct and genuine way. Tell him you wish what happened hadn’t happened, but you recognize your misstep and have learned from it. This should be enough to show him that you don’t want to drag this into your future and that it’s time to put him to rest.
Understand that the vision that a person has of us can change in an instant
You may be worried that your ex boyfriend will never see you the same way again after you humiliated yourself. The fact is that he is very likely to forget it if you invade his thoughts with much more positive interactions. By being mature and showing him that you refuse to be defined by what you did to shame yourself, he will realize that he wants to focus on the better version of you and not the humiliated version of you in his presence.
If you focus on moving on and leaving the past where it belongs, he will be forced to follow suit. She will soon forget that awkward interaction and begin to see you as a strong woman who can overcome even the most difficult circumstances.
You just need to believe in yourself and believe in the idea that humiliating yourself is not the end of the world. It is the beginning of a life lesson that you will carry with you in any future relationship you have with your ex and the rest of your life.