It was a Saturday morning in August 2004. One of the BMX state qualifying races was in progress, and as usual, my friends and I planned to let off some steam by playing in the dirt.
Unfortunately, my plans were about to change.
I made a wrong move somewhere in practice and heard a loud snap. I immediately knew it was my left ankle.
Before I knew it, I was in the hospital. There I found out that they had called an orthopedic surgeon and that they were going to have to operate.
One day and several hot nurses for pain relief later, I hopped in my truck and headed home. Only now I had “toy toys” (in the form of plates and screws) in my left leg and a cast that wouldn’t come off for at least eight weeks.
Oddly enough, having immersed myself in studying how to get better with women, it had only been a week since I went back online for the first time in quite some time.
A couple of months earlier, I had decided to delete my profile and really work on getting my game in order.
Now, with five days of doctor-ordered “bed rest,” he would have time to email a lot of women.
There was only one problem.
In my mind, I was “damaged property.” I mean, what woman in her right mind is going to want to date a guy who limps on crutches for the next two months?
So with my new “limiting belief” firmly in place, I figured I really had nothing to lose when it came to writing about women. After all, he wasn’t going to meet anyone for at least the next two bloody months, was he?
I will never forget how despondent I felt. If you know me well, you know that I can’t sit still in one place long enough to watch a movie, let alone deal well with FIVE DAYS of “bed rest.”
Fortunately, I had two things going for me.
First, a laptop with wireless Internet. I had five days of forced and immobilized “vacation” to work on my Match.com skills.
Second, if you take note of the date the incident occurred, it was exactly four years ago. The Olympics were underway, and I’m a huge fan. That meant there was ALWAYS something interesting to watch on TV.
I am forever grateful to this day for both. Otherwise I would have gone crazy.
But it only took me half a day to get completely bored with my existing profile and typical first few emails. The wheels began to turn and it occurred to me that I had NOTHING to lose by mixing things up a bit.
So I decided to put some of the theories I had been reading about to the test.
Heard the “Mr. Nice Guy” thing isn’t working. He had also been reading about how a man has to be a sexual presence to naturally attract women.
Yet all my life I had been conditioned to believe that women were offended or even oppressed by male behavior. And she had always thought that any sort of sexually risque behavior was an affront to women.
So one night, I took a deep breath. With my left leg propped up on a pile of pillows and Paul Hamm winning gold in men’s all-around gymnastics, I changed my profile.
And by changing my profile, I changed my life.
The first line became “Men are men and women are women. That’s how it should be and that’s how I like it. If you agree, read on.”
The way I saw it, there was going to be no more humiliation. No more trying to please everyone. If women really wanted a man to be direct and, well, a little blunt, she was about to find out for sure.
Next, I added a line that I thought at the time would scare all the women. However, as skeptical as he was, he had to give it a try.
The advice I had read was not to be afraid to show my sexual side.
The new line read: “I believe a woman should be kissed properly and often.”
My heart rate increased when I hit “save” on the profile.
Once approved (which still took about half a day back then), I started writing about women.
I selected the female beauties and concentrated on them. After all, that’s what I usually like.
The results floored me. The women were not just responding, but POWERFULLY.
A green-eyed cutie with light brown pixie-like hair and a sundress wrote me the one email that forever cured me of my “Mr. Nice Guy” and “Mr. Neutral Guy” thinking.
The subject line was “WOW!” and in the message she wrote:
I am so glad you wrote to me.
I got to the line in your profile about “being kissed properly and often” and my heart sped up.
YES! I’m a girl through and through and I WOULD LOVE to meet a real man for a change!
Call me,
Kerry
(210-XXX-XXXX)
Within half an hour we were on the phone.
Two major limiting beliefs down, one to go. How would I tell him that I was in a cast for two months?
The conversation was going very well. She had a sweet, feminine voice and a kind heart. Finally, it was time to talk about the meeting in person.
I said, “Look, there’s something you should know. I just broke my leg and I’ve been in a cast for two months.”
She responded with the expected “My God… are you okay?” kind of thing, but what she said next is what shook me to the core.
“Okay, so the five days of lying in the house must be pretty boring. Why don’t I take you out on Friday night, my invite? We can celebrate you being able to get out of the house again!”
“Um…what about crutches and stuff?” I said.
“What’s the problem?” she replied.
There wasn’t one for her. only me
Friday night we went out and had a great time. Dinner turned into a jazz club, which again stayed out all night.
At one point, contrary to my doctors’ orders, I got rid of the crutches around my steel-reinforced left ankle as best I could.
At the end of the night, she joked around calling me “Superman.” She loved that she didn’t let a temporary roadblock get in the way of my fun. And she loved being kissed properly and often.
And what do you know, there was a second date. And a third. And my leg healed up just fine anyway.
Kerri and I ended up dating for months and months. Ultimately, I was the one who decided that she wasn’t the one for me in the long run.
Guys, it’s obvious from all of this that being a man, not being afraid to position yourself as a sexual presence, and of course, CONFIDENCE really, really works like magic with women.
And whatever your complexes are, there are probably women who do NOT share them with you. So it’s time to throw them out the window. That’s obvious.
But here’s the part you may not have gotten: relationship management starts THE MOMENT YOU KNOW IT.
The tone you set from the first time you meet her is going to shape her image of you as a man. From there, you go on to maintain his attraction for as long as you like or create doubts in his mind that perpetuate a “revolving door” of women in your life.
This means having to start from scratch over and over again, only to have a woman you really started to like disappear into thin air…again.
The truth is that women FOLLOW YOUR LEADER.
And I am convinced that you can be a man who not only creates attraction but KEEPS IT as long as you want. YOU can welcome women into your reality instead of being led by the nose like a comedy character.