I keep a box of tissues on the table where I teach because,
As an SAT tutor and college application advisor, I hear
high school juniors and seniors who are so overwhelmed
from the pressure of the university they begin to cry. Not just girls. Not
only Ivy League contenders.
High school students are always convinced that their parents
I do not understand them. This time the students are right.
Parents do not understand why admission to college
process is much more competitive than it was when
most parents applied to college.
These are the ten things I wish I could say to parents:
1. I am convinced that parents have to walk a mile in the
student loafers to gain some appreciation for the
stress students are under and reverse the stress in
home. If parents take a SAT practice test, they will feel
some of the same anxiety, shudder at its results, and
discovers that the test is hard. Instead of accumulating 25 pounds of
SAT study books on the desk, parents can commiserate
with students about lost problems. Parents and students
can become allies rather than adversaries when facing the
admission process to the university.
2. Hire SAT prep tutors who focus on the
academic material instead of just gimmicks. Increasing a
academic preparation of the student for the test in addition to
Teaching the tricks increases your confidence in the exam.
and in the classroom; teach only the tricks does
more insecure students because they rely on tricks
rather than actual knowledge.
3. Have guardians keep parents informed about each
session for parents to follow progress with tutor
instead of pestering the student to get information.
4. Have the student try the ACT. All universities accept it and
some students do better than the SAT.
5. Make learning fun. For example, have students
memorize vocabulary using the Vocabulary Cartoons book
by Sam Burchers, et al. Also, have the student
crosswords and other word puzzles in the SAT vocabulary
Express, the fun word puzzle book that will raise your SAT
scores. I wrote it with Michael Ashley, a national acquaintance
puzzles, so that our students learn to play with words,
an important skill for the new SAT.
6. Emphasize getting good grades over a good SAT
scores. B’s in honors classes are better than A’s in regular classes.
lessons.
7. Hire an independent college counselor who works
with the family to create a realistic college list, brainstorm ideas for
essay topics, set deadlines for the student and verify
all college applications. College High School Counselors
they are overworked and do not have time to walk with families
Through the process.
8. Be aware that the schools parents attended
within your child’s reach. The high school number
students planning to attend college has increased
dramatically; the student may be well qualified for a
particular college and may not be admitted yet.
9. Look for colleges where the student thrives
academically and socially. Choose universities based on
your name recognition and prestige value is a formula that
it will increase stress, not decrease it. Everyone else wants
go to those schools too, which makes them even harder to come by
within; they are not necessarily the best place for the student.
Loren Pope’s book, Universities That Change Lives, is a good
place to start.
10. Support your child through a difficult process. Leave the
Insist, scold and yell at the tutors and the university.
adviser. The independent college advisor will tell the
student to work harder so parents don’t have to. Why
ruin the student’s senior year at home?
Parents can make decisions so that senior year is not so
full of anxiety that family members begin to avoid each
other. And I hate when my students cry.