What qualities do modern single Christian men look for in women or what do modern single Christian men like in women? What makes these single Christian men tick? I’m sure these thoughts have women thinking in many different ways.
As a single Christian man, enlightenment came to me a bit late in my single days and at 36 I was still single. When I found out that my younger brother, 6 years younger than me, had just had his firstborn, the harsh realities of life somehow entered my senses. I am not getting any younger, and my old friends and contemporaries are no longer with me and are busy with their own lives. So, there’s not much fun anymore. Time really flies so fast. I realized that I really have to get my priorities right, otherwise I might miss the boat.
A Christian aunt of mine advised me that I should start looking for the right person to be my partner for life, otherwise I would be spending Valentine’s, Christmas, New Year’s and other holidays with just my grown white beard. So one day I announced to my parents, relatives and friends what single Christian men say when it’s their turn to change their hearts: that my single days are coming to an end and that the conquests of Genghis Khan or Christopher Columbus will soon be over, that now I’m looking for that “perfect someone”. Naturally, with all the excitement, verbal requests, both requested and unsolicited, began pouring in from relatives and friends alike.
Then I would finally get married. So I was faced with the problem of who I would marry. I never imagined being in this situation. I guess all single Christian men at this stage of their lives found the same thing. So I knew I had to come up with a strategy. My Aunt Christian told me that life is really strange with its twists and turns and that I have to be ready when that special someone comes my way. She taught me to “fall smart” and to make a list of all the qualities of the woman I would like to marry and live with for the rest of my life. Furthermore, she said that she would do it in the order of importance dictated by my priorities. She said she may not find all the qualities she’s looking for, but the more checks she has, the better her chances of being happy. So, drawing on good old-fashioned wisdom and advice, I made a list.
And here is my list and let me expound on them:
1) Loyal, Sincere and Honest. This is the very foundation of a successful marriage as in all types of relationships. Other good qualities emanate from these qualities that strengthen the bonds of love and marriage, evolving into mature and lasting relationships. These are definitely at the top of my list as sure as bright sky, I didn’t want lies, betrayals, hurt feelings and ultimately a ruined marriage and broken home that would affect our precious innocent children.
2) Patient, Understanding and Forgiving. Loving someone means having to accept the other person as they are, their inadequacies and limitations. Someone who will be by my side whether I succeed or fail in any of our life’s endeavors – a true proof of genuine love. With good advice through kind words, I believe that all good single Christian men and women heed the advice of their spouses.
3) Healthy and in good physical shape. Having to see family and friends who entered into a relationship without considering this aspect later found them in deep emotional and financial turmoil. This could put an end to supposedly happy marriages that could have lasted longer and therefore successful, if it were considered a major factor.
4) Family acceptance. Having great respect for family sometimes presents itself as a problem when choosing a partner for life, as mixing and socializing with the people you love is unavoidable, so we tend to choose our own kind: the Same level of education, same good traditional family values, same family background – someone I could respect and be proud of with my family and friends and be the mother of my children. It is painful to love someone who is not acceptable to your family or loved ones, especially if you have a very close family because it is hard to live in two separate worlds that you cannot merge and enjoy at the same time.
5) Same Religious Beliefs. It was a big factor for me, but I guess it’s person related. Important and not mandatory for others. The true Christian spirit is found within our hearts and minds. These thoughts passed through my mind in light of the spirit of being “true Christian single men and women”, whether Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Muslim, born again, etc. as long as “Christ or Love” reigns in them, since Love knows no borders, it is dynamic and, at times, adventurous.
6) Good matrimonial perspective. A strong commitment to raising a family knowing that sacrifice and devotion to family is the number one key factor in achieving happiness and success for our loved ones. This includes having gainful employment or having the ability to contribute to the financial support of current and future needs of the family.
7) Sexual Compatibility and Physical Appearance. This adds spice to the relationship as you don’t want to be with or sleep with someone you’re not physically attracted to. There has to be a physical chemistry that excites, ignites, creates and inflames or awakens that “magic”. Smelling good, being clean and organized increases the “attractiveness” and gives an aura of “charm”. Romance, intimacy, and ultimately, sex are the prelude to sharing the whole being—mind, body, and soul—with your spouse, best friend, and lover.
8) Healthy Attitude in Life. Enthusiastic about life, positive thinker, practical, flexible, helpful, down to earth, good conversationalist with a good sense of humor and funny. Someone with whom I will not get bored or tired of listening and talking, and with whom I can live the rest of my life.
9) Objective or Career Orientation. Men are excited to meet women who are focused, determined, and have something to do for themselves. It shows your determination and firmness to your aspirations and life expectations. Gone are the days when only one breadwinner works for all household expenses as the cost of living has risen so much in our economic societies and in all parts of the world. However, in the midst of life’s trials and difficulties, having a strong and determined character and personality is what counts the most.
10) Free from vices and other worldly attachments and material desires. Realizing that our body is the Temple of God and the mind the spirit within it, I have great respect for the people who respect it, care for it and feed it. Smoking, drinking, taking drugs, gambling, and other earthly desires that corrupt the soul degrade the spirit and flesh in us. Most of the time, vices and earthly desires cause pain and suffering in our lives.
And sure enough, after thirty (30) years of marriage, I can truly say that my checklist really worked. We are happy and satisfied with what we have accomplished so far as husbands and wives and as parents of single Christian men and women who have turned out to be the best of us. Good single Christian men and women who in turn will continue to practice our Christian values in their lives and pass on the love, wisdom, guidance and support we have given them in raising their future children. So be cautious and arm yourself with the power of discernment and the test of time, as the world is full of betrayal but at the same time of truth and goodness. So to all eligible single Christian men and women looking for that “someone special”, why not make your checklist now so you’ll be ready when the time comes?