While you may not be able to tell when you’re talking to one, most engineers tend to have a wonderful sense of humor. In an effort to dispel one of the oldest myths about engineering, we’ve compiled the following series of engineering jokes. We hope you find them as fun as we do 🙂
three metal spheres
The local university recently decided to present its professors with a test. Three metal spheres were placed on a table and the teachers were told to do whatever they wanted with them. Each teacher had an hour alone in the room with the three metal spheres. After an hour, the Math teachers emerge and the balls are arranged in a triangle shape. Next, the Physics teacher leaves his room; the balls are stacked on top of each other. Finally, the engineering professor leaves his room. One ball is broken, one ball is missing, and he has the third in his lunch box.
Malfunctioning windows
Three engineers drive a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a software engineer. The car stops running and they pull over to the roadside to inspect it. The electrical engineer suggests they disassemble the car’s electronics in an attempt to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer suspects that the fuel is emulsifying and suggests that they focus on the fuel system. The software engineer suggests closing all windows, exiting, back in, and opening all windows again to see if that helps.
The retired engineer
After 30 years of loyal service, John the Engineer retired from his company. Several years later, the company was having trouble fixing one of its new multi-million dollar machines. No one on staff was able to resolve the issue so they contacted John the Engineer. John spent the next day studying the machine. At the end of the day, he marked a particular component with a small “x” in chalk. He replaced the part and the machine was back up and running immediately. A short time later, the company received a bill for $75,000. After demanding an itemized invoice, John the Engineer responded with the following: 1 chalk mark – $1.00 Know where to put it – $74999.00
the lost balloonist
A man is flying in a hot air balloon, but realizes that he is lost. He sees another man below and lowers his balloon to ask for directions. “Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could help me. I’m lost and was supposed to meet a friend half an hour ago. The man on the ground says, ‘Well, he’s in a hot air ball. He’s hovering at about 30 feet, and is between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 59 degrees west longitude.” “He must be an engineer,” replies the man in the balloon. “Actually, I am.” the man on the ground states. “How did you know?” The balloonist says “Everything you’ve told me is technically correct, but I’m still completely lost.” You know? The engineer replies, “You don’t know where you are, or where you’re going. You’ve made a promise you can’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow everything is my fault”.
The human body
Three engineering students are sitting around talking about who might have designed the human body. “He must have been a mechanical engineer,” says the first student. “The human body has all kinds of levers, pivots and so on. Only a mechanical engineer would have designed all of that.” The second student replies, “No, you must have been an electrical engineer. Think of the complex way the nervous system is connected to the brain.” The third student replies, “No way, folks. The human body was definitely designed by a civil engineer. Who else would have run a sewage line through the recreation area?”