In an overpopulated world, where billions of people are connected to each other through print or electronic media, it seems paradoxical that loneliness has become a rapidly growing 21st century disease. High-rise buildings, claustrophobic box-like floors, stressful jobs, and impersonal city life don’t encourage sympathy. Rather, they create suspicion and fear of neighbors or strangers. Addiction to television or the network makes people reluctant to communicate with other people, whether they are family or friends. They love to live vicariously through the lives of movie stars or television personalities and find no time for other relationships.
Loneliness does not respect people. Young or old, literate or illiterate, rich or poor, anyone can be affected by loneliness. David Jeremiah called it the “Disease of the Decade.” Many years ago, Thoreau said, “A city is a place where hundreds of lonely people live together.”
What is loneliness?
It is a feeling of isolation even in the middle of a crowd; a desolation that makes one feel unloved and unloved; a despair that nobody cares about and therefore there is nothing to live for. The feeling is heightened during birthdays, anniversaries, or festivals. Watching other people have fun increases feelings of isolation.
All human beings at some stage of life have transitory episodes of loneliness. But these disappear quickly when the situation changes or the cause is eliminated.
Causes of loneliness:
• Society has become impersonal and device-oriented. Things are bar coded and people are numbered. Identification cards, bank cards, and credit cards provide identity but do not encourage human interaction. Even a patient in the hospital identifies himself with a number instead of a name.
• A competitive world allows only the fittest to survive. This makes people selfish, self-centered, reserved, and suspicious.
• Floating populations due to frequent transfers or rapid job changes do not leave time for deep and lasting friendships. The loss of family, friends or family scenes generates loneliness.
• Grief: the loss of a spouse, children, family or friends causes an isolating pain. The grieving person feels hurt or abandoned. By isolating yourself, you feel protected from further harm.
• Loss of a job. Self-pity arises because others are better placed in life compared to prestige or wealth.
• Illness. HIV / AIDS, cancer, or other terminal illnesses make people feel isolated. They fear rejection or pity.
• Low self-esteem is often seen in housewives. They feel threatened by working women and their achievements. Most people don’t appreciate the work that goes into running a home. Young children further isolate mothers, leaving no time for social interaction.
• Guilt. Many regret the mistakes they have made and fear to repeat them. That is why they avoid company.
• Leadership positions often create loneliness. There are demands on your time and energy. Make decisions if it is often a lonely business. There is always the fear of facing the consequences of wrong decisions. They become easy targets when things go wrong. “To be president of the United States is to feel alone when making big decisions,” said Harry Truman. Writer Vicki Baum believed that “fame always brings loneliness. Success is frozen and lonely like the North Pole.”
• Intellectual loneliness. Albert Einstein felt that his intellectual brilliance set him apart from others and made him feel alone. “It’s strange to be so universally known and yet to be so universally alone,” he said.
• The fear, especially among the elderly, of being attacked by thieves, rejected by family or forgotten by friends, makes them withdraw into themselves.
Consequences of loneliness:
– Physical: About 50% of heart patients report that they have felt lonely and depressed for some time before their heart attacks. Scientists also say that certain cancers are exacerbated by loneliness.
– Emotional: depression and anxiety are greater in people who feel lonely. Many commit suicide. Some indulge in overeating, alcohol, or drugs.
– Spiritual: A total alienation from God aggravates loneliness. As Augustine, Bishop of Hippo, said, “God created man for himself, and our hearts are restless until we find rest in Him.”
Overcome loneliness:
Loneliness is universal, but succumbing to it is cowardice. One must rise above it. Loneliness must be distinguished from loneliness. Creative people like writers, poets, and artists isolate themselves for long periods of time so that they can work undisturbed. This isolation is self-imposed and has a purpose.
Religious also seek solitude for their meditations, prayers, and communion with God. Loneliness can be constructive and renewing. But loneliness is a psychological and spiritual desolation.
Therefore, the most important step is
– Accept the fact that there is a problem. The initiative must come from the person who feels lonely.
– Decipher the causes of loneliness and work to eliminate them. Anger, animosity, hypocrisy, or hatred are emotions that must be overcome before meaningful relationships can be built.
– Stay busy looking for ways to help others or cultivating hobbies that take away your focus and loneliness.
– Work on situations of grief and experiences of crisis. Self-pity is a deadly poison. It robs one of life’s perspective and purpose.
– Consider leadership a privilege and not a burden. Important people do not need to hide in their ‘ivory towers’. Being approachable without being influenced by others is the mark of a true leader.
– Exercising or listening to music can also drive away inner demons.
– Older people should not feel isolated by age and physical ailments. Old age is a time to seek a deeper meaning in life. There are communities that facilitate social relationships, friendships and the exchange of experiences. Creativity and spirituality can be rediscovered in old age.
– If loneliness is on the verge of depression or suicidal tendencies, professional help should be sought.
– A closer walk with God on a daily basis dissipates loneliness. As the psalmist said, “Pour out your hearts to God for He is our refuge and strength.” Only when we have a right relationship with God can we effectively relate to others. Someone said, “Being alone without God is hell. But being alone with God is a foretaste of heaven.”