Thailand is a magical place, the beaches, the warm climate, the unique culture, the excellent food and the beautiful women. It’s easy to see how a visitor to Thailand might think they’ve finally found paradise. Every year thousands upon thousands of Western men return home from a holiday in Thailand wanting to return as quickly as possible. Many times the reason for this is a woman, and most of the time it is a bar girl who has put a spell on him. Sometimes everything works out and the couple lives happily ever after, but in other cases, cultural differences and misguided expectations lead to unpleasant breakups. Over the years, I have seen many Thai-Farang relationships. The ones that lasted were generally not the ones that started in a bar.
There is nothing wrong with meeting your Thai girlfriend in a bar, I mean, that happens all the time at home, but I think there are good reasons to vary before getting into a serious relationship with a ‘bar girl’.
I’m not one of those people who thinks that Thai women working in bars are necessarily ‘bad’ or just looking for money, far from it, but I think their lifestyle may present some problems in the long run.
Picture this: an attractive young girl from the country goes to work at a bar. She has never been out of town before, let alone met a foreigner. Her daily life probably consisted of working in a rice paddy or falling asleep at some boring menial job. She then arrives in Bangkok or Pattaya, with a head full of dreams and hopes. What she finds is a place where the neon lights shine, every day is a party, drinking, sleeping until noon and then starting all over again.
For a young girl with no experience anywhere, that kind of lifestyle has to be exciting. So you see, when she meets you at a bar, is she really looking to settle down with a guy who is often significantly older than her?
Even if it is, are you ready to leave the easy job and big money behind and start working a 9 to 5 job again? Ditch her new friends and be the perfect stay-at-home wife? Probably not.
The bar scene attracts a certain type on both sides of the equation. If he is looking for a good Thai woman to settle down with and eventually marry, then I recommend looking elsewhere.
Take a walk on any street in Thailand; Do you notice that at least one girl sends you a shy look, maybe a smile? Maybe not, because we as Westerners are not attuned to the subtle signals that Thai women send to the men they are interested in. Don’t expect a ‘nice’ Thai girl to make the first move.