The 2-2-5-5 and 3-4-4-3 schedules are very similar to each other and choosing one over the other really comes down to personal preference. I’m going to explain how each of the schedules works, the particular benefits of each, and then things to keep in mind when looking at these two schedules.
Custody hours 2-2-5-5:
This schedule is more difficult to explain than most custody schedules. I didn’t really understand it at first, so I’ve included a link in my resource area for you to see a visual example if you still have questions after reading this article.
The 2-2-5-5 schedule is easier to understand if you know that the 2-2 represents the four nights of the week. Your child will spend two weekday nights with you and the additional two nights with the other parent. The child then spends all three weekend nights with you plus the same two nights the following week. That equals five nights. Finally, your child has two additional weekday nights and three weekend days with the other parent, which again equals five nights. The 5-5 is calculated when you add the alternate weekend with the already allocated weeknights.
Once you understand this schedule, it’s actually one of my favorites. The reason is that both parents have established weekday nights that do not change. In addition, the weekends rotate between parents. I like the consistency and I think it makes it easier for the parent and the child. For example, if your child has a piano on Tuesday, the same parent is responsible for taking the child from one place to another. The other parent would be responsible for making sure the child brings their homework packet to school on Friday.
Custody hours 3-4-4-3:
The 3-4-4-3 program is much easier to understand and implement. The key to understanding this schedule is knowing that the first part of the week and the last part of the week are always with the same parent. For example, the father always has the first part of the week and the mother has the second part of the week.
How it works is that the child spends the first three nights of a week with one parent and the last four nights with the other parent. The following week the schedule is the same but the first parent has four nights and the second parent has three.
This schedule is great because it is very consistent except for one weeknight that rotates each week. The only big drawback of this schedule is that the same parent receives every weekend.
What to consider:
The above two schedules are a great way for your child to be involved in the lives of both parents each week. Your child will spend time with each of you and will have the opportunity to have a wonderful relationship with both parents. Ultimately, the child feels that she is an important part of both homes.
You and the other parent should feel comfortable enough with each other that you can talk often about what is going on in the child’s life. If the school informs you on Tuesday that there will be a sleepover day on Friday, you must inform the other parent or her son will feel very left out. Make sure that you and the other parent are ready for this type of relationship where you leave your past behind and work together for the benefit of your child.
The biggest drawback to these schedules is the amount of time your child comes and goes. You and the other parent must live near each other and the child’s school. You also need to make sure that your child can handle the movements back and forth. For some children, this causes a great deal of anxiety and stress. They don’t feel like they’ve been in either house long enough to be more than a mere visitor. You need to make sure you get to know your child’s personality and choose the best possible time for him.
you can make it work:
I am a firm believer that you can make almost anything work. It is a difficult process trying to do what is best for your child. Remember, your child will look to you for guidance and help. They don’t know how to react. If you are always negative about the situation, they will be too. However, if you have a positive attitude and let your child know that you love him and that it takes time to make sure you choose what is best for him, you will feel comforted during this transition. Good luck!