I had a dog. He was big and black. His name was Mummzer; he was a mix of boxer, lab and pit. He was a rescue dog and he loved him very much. He made me laugh and he made me cry. It had taken me a long time to get it. It took me two years after Kamudi, my cat, died before he could even think about getting another pet.
Before I had Mummzer, long before I had Mummzer, I had a cat, the first cat I ever had. He was a beautiful gray Lilac Point Siamese, and he loved him very much. I love all my animals very much. His name was Khamudi, which means “My Sweet” in Hebrew. Cats are supposed to live a long time, right? I was hoping to have Khamudi with me for at least twelve or fifteen years. This, however, was not to be. About four years old, Khamudi got sick, very sick. I won’t tell you about it. Suffice it to say that I did everything I could to save him. I put him through so much awkwardness trying to save him. I feel terrible for what I did to him and for him, and I swore I would never let one of my animals suffer like this again.
Now I know what I was doing when I subjected Khamudi to all those indignities. I was trying to postpone my feelings of hurt and loss at not having my beautiful cat in my life. When Mummzer was six years old, more or less, he got sick. He developed brain cancer. It was very difficult for me to let him go, and I kept my promise to myself and Khamudi. I did not allow Mummzer to suffer discomfort and pain. When it was time to say goodbye, I invited his friends over so we could all say goodbye and tell him how much we loved him. Just writing this makes me cry and now I have another wonderful dog, Dafka. Once again, it took me two years before I was ready to have another pet.
We are sorry for the loss of our animals and this is normal and natural. We have cared for them, nursed them and caressed them. They, in turn, have cared for us, cared for us and caressed us. They have made us laugh, and maybe they have made us cry. No matter what our other feelings are, we love our pets. People who have never had pets may not understand this and say hurtful things. They may say things like: “Get over it”; “It was just a dog (or a cat or whatever pet you had).” Keep in mind that the feelings you have are normal and natural, and there is no time limit on your grief. You will take the time you need to take.
Morning is a process. The feelings we go through when grieving the loss of a loved one, including our pets, are:
*Denial
*Anger
*Negotiation
*Depression
*Acceptance
We don’t go through these feelings in a straight line, from one to another. We jump and surely we can feel more than one at the same time. I urge you to take your time and allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.